In Cuba, there is no awkward. Everything is awkward.

Let me begin by saying that there is no Spanish equivalent for the word "awkward." Though there are similar terms meaning "clumsy," "uncomfortable," and the like, there is nothing to quite describe a typical awkward moment. This is made most devastating in interactions with the fine young men of Cuba, who never seem to disappoint in their awkwardness, or our awkwardness with them. Examples abound.

1. One day at the dinner table Courtney got a chill, and visibly shivered. Chino saw that, and (in Spanish) said to her, "Oh, there are dead people talking about you." This is presumably the equivalent of our superstitions involving burning ears or itching noses. What was truly awkward about this was Courtney's reply, in monotone, grave Spanish, "ME. HAN. ENCONTRADO." Instead of jokingly replying "Oh, they found me!" she made it sound like the dead spirits had searched her out, found her, and are now going to carry her away into a pit of despair. Chino was unsure how to respond, and stared at her silently before walking away.

2. We were out dancing the other night, and one of the Cuban guys that we hang out with, Ruben, once again felt the need to try to teach me to dance (I'm beginning to think that the Cubans don't appreciate the robot, the hula-hoop, and the shopping cart dance moves...). I've met Ruben several times, and know Ruben's name, but because Ruben is Cuban, he has been unable to remember my name. So, while we were dancing (and he was becoming increasingly frustrated with my incompetence at a simple two-step) he asked me my name. The conversation went as follows:
Ruben: ¿Cómo te llamas? What is your name?
Me: Megan.
Ruben: Megawerjktn?
Me: Meh-gahn
Ruben: Meh-gahn
Me: Sí.
Ruben: Me llamo Ruben. My name's Ruben.
Me: Sí.
Ruben: Solo amigos. Only friends.
Me: Erm, sí. [I was unaware that introducing oneself implied that we were to become more than friends.]
Ruben: No hay problemas porque somos solo amigos. There aren't any problems because we're only friends.
Me: Oh, um, sí!
Ruben: No problemas, solo amigos. No problems, only friends.
Me: Sí.
Ruben: ¿Hablas español? Do you speak Spanish?
Me: Un poco. A little bit. [Hoping to abruptly end this discussion.]

Such conversations as this are as bewildering as they are entertaining in retrospect. Poor Ruben apparently suffers the burden of having every girl he speaks to fall in love with him. Oddly enough, I am not one of those girls. Also slightly confusing is that after conversing in Spanish, Ruben feels the need to ask me if I know Spanish. Makes you wonder what would occur if I answered him saying, in Spanish, "Nah, I took French in High School."

3. Chino just brought Honorio somewhere to show him a possible place that his family can stay in when they visit him here, and so the two got on Chino's motorcycle. Honorio was unsure of where to hold on, so he put his hands on Chino's shoulders. This was when Chino kindly asked him to not hold onto him, as he has a reputation to uphold, and cannot be seen with a man touching him.

This is both hilarious and confusing in that he would 1. go out of his way to say this, and 2. that this would be an issue at all. Cuba is the island of bro-love, we decided about a week ago, because of the PDA shown by men all the time. Oh, Cuba.

4. Some of the girls went out with members of the national water polo team after meeting them at the beach one day. True to awkward form, each guy picked out a girl that he automatically assumed was his soul mate. The one that picked Steph was dancing with her when he asked, in Spanish, if he could kiss her. She answered, "No, gracias." And then he asked her if she understood what he was asking her. "Yes," she answered. "I'd just really rather you not."

5. Another one of the water polo boys chose Sonya to be his soul mate. They ended up going to the movies last week and saw a film. Said water polo boy generously felt the need to translate all of the words in the movie because it was in Spanish. The only problem with that was that he only knows Spanish, so ended up repeating everything every character said back to Sonya who sat there struggling to just simply watch the movie and hear what was going on, because she constantly had him talking at her. At one point, one of the characters slammed a door, and the water polo boy turned to Sonya to report, "She just slammed the door."

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I'd continue with more of these awkward stories, but there's just not enough time in the day to write them all out. I will conclude by saying that I did my laundry today, which is very exciting. And I made my first cup of tea since being here (with fake milk, of course!).